Personality… October 20, 2007

Today we went to the park with some friends. Here is a run down of my boys, and their personalities:

The Captain: (5) Sits down in the grass with the prettiest mom at the park, and proceeds to tell her stories for the next half hour.

The Adventurer (3) Finds the 8-year-old boys, helps make a fort in a tree, and proceeds to whack the tree with a stick for 20 minutes.

The Caboose (1) Finds the nearest 6-year-old girl and proceeds to fall into her arms over and over again, while making eyes at her and giving kisses.

Trouble, Trouble, Trouble. I love them to death.

All about Boys… October 5, 2007

Some one forwarded this to me, and you have probably all seen it, but perchance you missed it, SOOOO funny, and sadly, I can attest to the truth about half of these things, and my oldest is only 5!!!
Salud! H

You will find out some interesting things, if you have sons, including:

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tie d to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up! when the ceiling fan is on . When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR’s do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Do you ever wish your kids had a ‘mute’ button? September 24, 2007

We were killing time at McDonald’s, when the Captain had to go to the bathroom. Having 3 boys has many benefits, one of them being that when Daddy is with us, I am not on bathroom duty. So, I sat relaxing while they sprinted to the potty.

Reportedly, an EXTREMELY obese man had just “dropped the kids off at the pool,” so to speak, and was washing his hands when my husband and son blew through the door, and were greeted by a horrible stench. “OH MY GOSH, IT STINKS SOOOO BAD IN HERE DADDY!” Announced the Captain at the top of his lungs, much to my husband’s chagrin. “Wow, that is the STINKIEST SMELL I EVER SMELLED, That Is SOOOO Stinky!”

Somehow, between gaging and choking back laughter, my husband was able to successfully hush the Captain, but I did notice that the man changed his order to “To Go” upon returning from the bathroom, though apparently “Already Went” would have been more like it.

Jellyfish Testicles September 13, 2007

We have been practicing letter sounds with flashcards that have the letter and a picture of a coresponding animal on them, you know, word association to trigger long term memories… or something like that.

Anyway, the letter J is paired with a jellyfish, who happens to have very long tentacles, which my 5-year old could not help but comment on:

“Mom, Jellyfish have REALLY long Testicles, don’t they, and it really hurts when their testicles sting you, huh.”

Yep buddy, they sure do, watch out for those Jellyfish!

Boys on Bikes August 16, 2007

Today we went to the park, so my boys could ride their bikes. They have 2 rules: they must put on their shoes before we leave, and they must wear their helmets. My middle son, having all of the wisdom of a 3-year-old, decided to pick out flip-flops. I know you think you know where this is going, but read on!

We were at the park when he yelled out, “Hey mom, watch this trick!” Now any mother of a 3-year-old knows that “tricks” are usually simple things, like one foot off the pedal, but not today. I watched in shock as my little guy started pedaling furiously, training wheels wobbling, and then he began climbing his little flip-flopped feet up onto the seat of his bike. Down the gradual slope he rolled, holding onto the handle bars, two little feet balanced on his bike seat for a good minute and a half.

I sat with my mouth hanging open, wondering if I should run down the side walk and try to catch him before he fell off. But he didn’t. He hopped off right before he got to the street, all smiles, calling out “Did you see that Mom?” How fast they grow, my sweet bike-riding boys!

Dirty Tubs… August 16, 2007

Oh yes, 3 lovely little boys DO equal dirty tubs! Not to mention scary toilet cleaning adventures, and some deep knowledge of exactly what will get those stains out! But somehow the cleaning of dirty tubs has alluded me, and I need help! Please, please, I need to know, once the dirt is off my boys, how can I get it unstuck from my tub?!?

Screw Drivers and Wicker Chairs… February 1, 2007

Well, when you add a two-year old to the equation, this could potentially be the shortest post ever. Maybe that is why my parents didn’t buy anything nice until we all moved out. Could make a strong case for home furnishings made from cardboard and heavy plastic. I really liked that chair.

Bugs January 20, 2007

There is nothing quite like boys and bugs.

When Conner was two, he found a dead bumble bee on our back steps. He thought that it was sleeping, so he went and got him a little blanket. When the poor little bumble bee didn’t wake up, he thought maybe he was thirst, so he got a cup, filled it with water, and poured it all over the little bee, and then covered him back up with his little blanket. He wasn’t a big talker, but we understood and watched the whole thing. At nap time, we carefully helped the baby bumble bee to ‘fly away.’ We were so proud of his compassion, and he was so proud that he had found and helped the little bee. The depth of his sweet,thoughtful actions did not miss our gaze or our encouragement.

He has gone onto capture countless lady bugs (which he used to call butterflies), and even let a snail or two crawl on his hand. Last summer he found a dragonfly in the swimming pool. We carefully fished him out, though when he finally dried off, he flew right into my face and land back in the pool again.

I think that one of the funnest things about having boys is how much time they will spend carefully bending over some little ant or rolly polly, or if they are really lucky a praying mantis. They watch so quietly capturing each move, each little detail, until it turns and crawls, walks, slithers or hops their way, and then they run with all the furry in the world, laughing with squeamish uncertainty, endlessly relaying stories about how a worm “all most got me!” Oh I cannot wait until winter is passed and it is bug-watching time again!

The upside to a cashless economy… January 18, 2007

One day (before forsook my dignity and became a mini van momma), I had the grand idea to wash the car, while my boys played inside. Tobias was barely two, Conner was 3 1/2, and Ethan was negative 4 months. They had a marvelous time “driving” and playing together. We happily stood in the driveway, waving to Daddy as he drove to work in the shiny, clean car. But as he turned the corner, he honked the loudest, rudest honk I’ve ever heard, right as an elderly man was walking by. A couple minutes later, my husband was on the phone, calling to tell me that one of our young drivers had apparently shoved some coins into the steering column. Every time he turned right, the coins activated the horn, causing it to honk uncontrollably. That quick hose-down turned into the most expensive car wash I’ve ever had. When we finally got it fixed, the bill was about a hundred dollars. Imagine, $100 to retrieve 12 cents.