I Hate McDonalds. April 14, 2008
Moms make great detectives. Maybe the police force will have a spot for me when my boys are older. I do detective work all day long. “Who ate all the cookies?” “Where are your shoes at?” “What is going on in here?” Guess I’m pretty good at interrogation too.
But, on occasion, when I’m not following a crumb trail, or looking in the strangest of places for little boy shoes, or trying to figure out exactly what just happened and how to deal with that particular occasion, I get the opportunity to solve a real mystery, like where did we contract the stomach flu virus?
Every mom I know is a genius when it comes to pinpointing where viruses are contracted. My general method is to note when the first child gets sick. If another child gets sick very quickly, then they were all exposed at the same time. If there is a time delay, then I know only one child was initially exposed, and then I back track. We had some friends who every time we went to their house, the Captain would get diarrhea. Only the Captain would get it, and only the Captain would use their bathroom. Then he would pass it on to mom and dad and the Adventurer, who was still in diapers. It took two visits, and then I knew for sure; now we only meet at the park.
So, I realized very quickly when the Entertainer got the stomach flu (despite covering every surface of my house in bleach), exactly two days after the Adventurer did, that the incubation period is two days, which puts the Adventurer and I at McDonalds, on an ice-cream date at the point of viral contraction. I know, the obvious question is did I let him into the play place? Yes. I have to confess I did, and he only went through it once. Stinking McDonalds. If there food wasn’t already unhealthy enough, they have to provide entertainment that is a breeding ground for childhood disease.
And in addition to that, who takes their kid to McDonalds when they don’t feel so good? “Mommy, my tummy hurts.” “No problem, Bobby. Let me just fill you up with twice your daily caloric intake, namely through grease and soda. That’ll make it all better!” I love a #2 just as much as the next guy, but I’ve never thought about McDonalds being the cure for nausea, and having gone through horrible morning sickness 4 times now, I consider myself a bit of an expert on nausea.
Anyway, I should have known I was playing with fire. It was only a matter of time before play-place-vomiting took it’s toll on our family again. If we can make it through tonight with out any one else getting sick, we may just be in the clear. Otherwise, I’ll make sure to cancel all plans Wednesday and Friday night.
(Though I do have to confess, it was REALLY nice to not hear the words “I’m SO HUNGRY!” from the Adventurer a whole 2 days in a row.)
Salud! H
ROTFL! Great post H! I can’t say that any of our kids ever contracted flu from McDonald’s but when I look back on it, I’m thinking I probably wasn’t smart enough to figure that out. Second the “mothers as expert interrogators” Cherie could extract information from the kids when they were young better than a Scotland Yard detective!
“Stinking McDonalds. If there food wasn’t already unhealthy enough, they have to provide entertainment that is a breeding ground for childhood disease.”
It should be “If their food” I think.
Nice entry! I love reading about parenting. Bookmarked
I have so many McDonald’s horror stories. Enough that we don’t go anymore, EVER. But I’ll share just one, the last one. I wasn’t there on this particular occasion, but my husband and my brother took my 5 year old for a special treat one day. While he was playing on the playground, some child had a poopy accident on the spiral tunnel slide, just as my son was on his way into the slide. Thankfully my husband saw the boy come out with poopy pants and said “GRANT, STOP!!” And even more amazingly, my son actually listened. He hit the brakes and held himself there in that stinky slide until my husband and the child’s mother got the mess cleaned up (of course McDonalds couldn’t be bothered). I still thank God to this day that my little son didn’t slide through that poop.
Oh that is so gross! The funniest thing was that after I wrote that post, my husband came home, announced we had to run a lengthy errand, and asked if he could treat everyone to Happy Meals along the way… at least he used the drive through!
Though poopy slides may have just sealed my resolution to continue avoiding the play place at all costs..